Work to do

Oh, the things that have happened since we last talked.

Good acupuncturing on Monday. Good dharma talk.

Got home, was having a perfectly normal, ragingly normal, time of it, and one of my legs just gave out and I hit the ground. Hard.

Really hard. About as hard as I've ever hit the ground, ever.

Fortunately, all that time I spent practicing breakfalls—thank you, Bruce Tegner, for all those delightful how-to martial-arts paperbacks I spent so much time with in my teenage years, practicing the front breakfall—I hit the ground surprisingly under control. Almost did the breakfall properly. Almost... Still, though, a nasty bruise is not a bad cost for "almost" controlling one's fall properly. My doctor (whom I called for advice about reducing the pain, of which there was a ton, and which there still is more than enough) was actually quite impressed; he said most people typically break certain bones when they fall "that way," he thought I got off very easy with just a bruise.

So, considering how much it hurt and the amount of noise it made when I fell... not bad.

Today, a good visit with the herbalist. I've been having a hard time sitting up for too long, and today was no exception... he was running late, it took me too much energy to drive to his office and just sitting in the office for so long was nasty uncomfortable... I had to excuse myself and lie in the bed of my truck, just to lie down and to sun and warm my legs.

Oh, the "fun" of dealing with the different temperature-wishes of my legs and my core. Sometimes, I sit outside to warm my legs, and the heat makes me feel bad, so I go into the air conditioning and feel good—except pretty soon, my legs get too cold.

"Boring," I don't have to worry about.

Even the herbalist said that my current level of inescapable discomfort was most probably as much spiritual as physical, as much the "inner jihad" as The Disease.

Even not knowing more than the minimal details of my separation from my previous employer, he agreed that that's probably got a great deal to do with my discomfort... I told him that I needed to forgive the blind for not knowing that they couldn't see.

He laughed.

I wish I could. When I can... I'll be free. Until then... there's work to do.

The herbalist said very early in our relationship... keep taking the herbs, stay on the diet, and don't give up.

The first two are easy. The third is, I gotta admit... a little too tempting, nowadays.

I'm going to go sit outside, take the herbs, and listen to nature. We're having a very interesting conversation right now, me and Nature... More about that, another time.