Well, here's an interesting snapshot of how things are right now:
Got out of bed somewhere around 10AM.
Went with my wife to a charming vegan Taiwanese restaurant. Not our usual lunch-and-tea shop... it was very good, plenty of yummy leftovers, but since it wasn't our usual tea shop, of course we went by the tea shop on our way home.
Upon returning home, I lay down, and stayed there for several hours. And honestly, I was ready for bed long before we were done with lunch... merely sitting up in the wrong kind of chair is fatiguing enough to make me want to lie down and close my eyes, if not full-on pass out. It was actually quite uncomfortable, simply sitting in a chair without putting my legs up.
This happened last week at the herbalist's... he was running late, and sitting up in the wrong kind of chair (in his waiting room) was debilitating, so I went outside and lay in the bed of my truck for nearly a half hour, before I was able to deal with sitting-in-the-wrong-chair again.
It's an interesting conundrum... The reason for "I can't walk" is clear: bad neural connections to my legs. The reason behind "I can't deal with excesses of heat or cold" is as clear as anything M.S.-related ever is: Well, that's M.S. for you, it comes with the territory.
But right now... merely sitting in the wrong kind of chair is devastatingly exhausting.
I don't rank a lot of what happens to me on this Neurological Highway as "suffering," but this is starting to feel too much like it falls into that category.
I never considered "going out to lunch" to be a nastily-draining activity. Going out to the right kind of lunch has always been restorative. Until now, I guess...
So many "messages from M.S.," if you want to personalize it that much (a shaky proposition at best) have all fit under the very large umbrella of "something's gotta change." I'm only now starting to discover what a very few of those things actually are... I've clearly got a lot more "discovery" in order, much less "actually making the [long list of expletives] changes themselves."
But, c'mon... go to lunch, and only a few minutes into being there, to be so drained that you spend the rest of the day asleep, and unable to do anything for hours.
A famous Zen principle is "When you sit, just sit." I don't think they had my current situation in mind... When you sit, sit in the right chair, or it's gonna cost you. ... it's gonna cost you the entire day.
("Where's the gift of M.S. there?" I can hear you ask. Fair question. When I figure it out... I'll tell you. But I'm definitely not there yet.
But it will be a relief to finally make that discovery...)