Thursday, July 26, 2012

Interesting questions

I assisted in the diagnosis of a pipe organ, today. There's a nasty, nasty short-circuit somewhere in the control system (which enables the console, the part with the keys and such, to operate the sound-emitting parts of the instrument). The Organ Folks haven't found the short yet... but they're getting closer. There's gonna be another visit to the instrument next week sometime, and with luck, it'll only take a couple of visits to  find and eliminate the short.

How did I help? I laid on the floor, waiting for instructions: "Turn it on!" or "Turn it off!"

Hardly sounds like much, but somebody had to turn the dang thing on and off. It didn't matter that Disabled Guy (who used to crawl all over that very instrument himself, years ago) was the one who was helping... it didn't matter at all how able the guy at the switch was... they just needed somebody at the switch.

It was important, and useful.

I took one of the Organ Guys out to lunch at my favorite Taiwanese tea place. We haven't seen each other in 15 years, it was HIGH TIME to have a lunch and reconnect. And that was very, very good.

Before I left the church, I scoped out a spot I might (in my fantasies) use as a place to record video podcasts from.

It was a very, very good day... for accomplishing things that were meaningful and necessary.

I'm at home right now, and... I'm toast. I feel horrible. Tried lying down—that usually fixes things. Not today. I feel, actually, bad. Quite bad. And I even spent a lot of time at the church, today, while waiting for the call to turn things on and off, lying down with my eyes closed. Apparently, that didn't help.

That doesn't happen all that often, feeling this bad. But boy, do I feel bad.

This is an ... interesting... new place. I'm familiar with feeling fatigued. I'm familiar with feeling disabled. But I don't often feel this just plain bad. And oh, it's definitely not an "I'm coming down with something" bad. It's an M.S.-related bad.

Gonna take my herbs, sit outside, watch Batman (reruns from the Adam West Batman, which I adored as a child), and with luck, go to sleep. And with more luck, to feel better tomorrow.

I really... really... wish I knew what was up, right now. Is it The Disease? Is it Something Else? Would knowing which it was really make any difference?

Well, if "just hang on" is The Lesson right now... fine. I'll do what I can about that. I guess...

Interesting, isn't it, when one finds oneself asking, "Are you really accepting your state and just riding it out, without railing against it? Are you denying it, or preserving yourself by not wallowing in it and 'keeping your spirits up'?" (If I'm actually doing that, which I'm not sure about either...)

Makes you long for the Universe's pee jokes, doesn't it?

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