Thursday, July 5, 2012

Forty-three pounds

So this afternoon, I'm at the Medical Marijuana Referral doctor's office, and they (as most doctor's offices do) have a TV on the wall, blaring... well, whatever. I didn't really pay any attention to it, until I saw...

A commercial for Ambien. A charming animated character was talking about how depressed she was, and then her doctor added Ambien to what I presume from the spiel was an already extensive battery of anti-depressants, and suddenly--she felt better! A very nice smile, this entirely animated person had. Ask your doctor whether Ambien is right for you, she said as she smiled.

And then... the bad news. An exhaustive list of all the bad things it can do; I think it took longer to list those than the "please buy my" part of the commercial took. For example: In some people, taking Ambien causes them to commit suicide--especially in young people. Or it can just plain kill you, in all these other nasty ways--a very long list of those.

Now, after hearing the legal list of disclaimers, why anyone would actually still want to ask their doctor to give them Ambien, I'll never know.

So then I went in to talk to the doctor about the referral. I told him that I found seeing that list of how-Ambien-can-kill-you at a medical marijuana office to be... unintentionally funny. Tragically funny.

He growled, "Marijuana has never killed anyone."

Now, to be fair, I'm sure that some people have done some stupid things that they shouldn't have done while under the influence, and one of my medical-caregivers tells me that the lethal dose for marijuana has, in fact, finally been identified:

Something on the close order of forty-three pounds.

Not over the course of years... at once. Forty-three pounds. At one sitting. And that's only calculated as the lethal dose--it has never, experimentally, been conclusively established.

I think you'd have to fill a couple of steamer trunks with weed to get forty pounds of it.

So, the journey along the Neurological Highway continues. Seeking new side-roads for relief, and comfort, and perhaps even inspiration, on metaphorical journeys to Ixtlan, Carlos-Castaneda-style.

But not, as you can easily imagine, with Ambien.

1 comment:

Have Myelin? said...

Forty-three pounds??? And the Feds want to "protect" us from it but allow us to use Copaxone, Betaseron, etc. which have more side effects than medical mj.