A good acupuncturing yesterday, accompanied by an at-times "tough love" dharma talk.
And I cross the Great Divide (the 405 freeway) to visit the herbalist, later today. Yum, yum. Well, the last few formulas have been less spit-take-worthy as some of the earlier ones. Ligustrum was in the last formula, which the web tells me is called by us Western folk "privet."
Well, that's fun. It's a hedge. It's a medicine. An amazing world, isn't it?
Things are looking up a little, compared to our last conversation. The last time I submitted something here, just the effort of doing so drove me back to bed. Today, I sat at the computer while I enjoyed my cereal, then I made my wife some tea, then I reconnected my 24" rotate-it-vertically monitor (back from the shop last week, but I had no energy for reconnecting it at the time), then I emptied the dishwasher, and now I'm back at the computer. I've had to tip my head back and close my eyes for a couple of moments, but the "just sitting" isn't debilitating me as much or as quickly (at the moment, at least), and I was able to empty the dishwasher without dropping thing or falling over... both of which nearly happened several times, but didn't! Which I consider a victory.
Something I got from my dharma talk yesterday is simply this: Don't worry about what you're able or not able to do. Just do something; something that matters, something that needs doing, something that only you can do and that you do well. Doesn't matter how monumental it is or isn't. Just accomplish something.
And that feels good. Yesterday, I reclined in the bed, looked over some of my "raw" research materials that I'm using for my November lecture at the College Music Society, and I discovered something that's been on my "WTF is this about?" list for months. Months. A small thing, and yet a big thing.
So that's my plan, for right now. Just accomplish something. Size of "thing accomplished," monumentality of "things accomplished"... "monumentality" being something, I must admit, I've always strived for. Not fame, not renown, not "cashing it in BIG time," but monumentality-of-spiritual-importance, that has always been behind my proudly-worn "overachiever" badge.
Well, right now, monumentality is gonna have to look after itself. That's too big a weight to lift, right now.
But, as the Zen saying goes, when you sit, just sit. The first teaching of chado, the art of the Japanese tea ceremony is "Make the best cup of tea you can." Not the best in the world, not the best that has ever been made in all of recorded and unrecorded history, but the best you can, here and now, with what you have to work with.
Time to make tea. The best cup of tea that I can, with what I have, here and now.