Sunday, August 12, 2012

Not helping

My state has evolved to "bouncing." Instead of being stuck in the bed all day, sort-of-sleeping on and off, and then not sleeping during the night, I do something... at least it's something... and then lie down just for a few minutes (or a half hour, or an hour, but not hours), then get up again. And do at least something. Then lie down a few minutes/half-hour/hour. Lather, rinse, repeat, as the shampoo bottle says.

I think this is an improvement...?

I'd love it to feel like a real improvement, to be enjoyed as a significant improvement, rather than just something remarked as an arithmetic improvement... kinda like "Oh look, I lost an ounce of weight today, that means that I'm losing weight, right? Because I lost something, right?"

The monitor that can be rotated 90 degrees so I can work on "tall" orchestral scores, came back from the repair shop last week. It took me at least five days before I felt strong enough to open the box and reconnect the monitor.

Alas, the part that enables the monitor to stand up on the desk in its rotated position... let's call it "the stand," was not included in the package.

So, they fixed the monitor electronically, and then broke it, possible-to-use wise.

A long stream of obscenities actually is not what instantly came to mind. Just two short sentences:

"That's not right."

And, what I wanted to say to the monitor-repair people:

"You're not helping."

Ah, don't we wish that M.S. actually was an entity with independent existence, that we could yell at? And oh, the things we'd say to it... I'm sure many of what would come to mind involve many, very colorful, and anatomically impossible suggestions, but at the bottom line, aren't the same two sentences exactly what need saying?

"That's not right."

"You're not helping."

Except, the funny thing is... sometimes it is helping... but not in the way we want or expect. I'm not quite in the mental/emotional/spiritual place to "grok" how my current condition constitutes "helping," but ... with luck, perhaps I will.

And hey! I've been hoping/waiting for this monitor for weeks, and I still don't have it, and instead of swearing and throwing things, the first thing I want to say is, "That's not right."

I guess M.S. is helping....

Funny thing, yes?

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