Had a great acupuncturing today. I got some points just to address some leg issues, but best of all, I got something to directly address this "feelings of grief" thing I find myself trying to find my way through, a point called "the intermediary."
I feel like whatever was trying to get my attention has now received the attention it needed, and I feel a lot lighter now (on the way home I went shopping, and actually had fun doing so, for the first time in quite a while). But the question remains: grief is a response to a loss, for something that used to be but is now gone, or for something much desired but that cannot be brought to pass. The obvious motivator is simply the physical effects of MS, the loss of the things I used to do without thinking but now are creeping steadily towards "out of reach." But that doesn't resonate, that seems obvious but somehow doesn't seem right.
But an intermediary is just what I need; on Paul's journey to Damascus, the scales didn't fall from his eyes until he met just such an intermediary.
I feel supported, and my load lightened; we'll see where the road takes me next.