I had a lovely talk with a friend of mine last night. He's got Issues with someone in management who sounds, well, damaged, and that messes things up pretty severely sometimes. Often. Daily.
But he's finding a lot of solace and survivor-ness simply through perspective. And he said of his connection to me, "Well... at least I can walk. And that ain't bad."
He also enjoys my often wicked sense of humor. He said he's having difficulties communicating with Some Person because, I'm guessing, This Person doesn't like dealing with things outside their very very very personal view of the world--true for everyone, but this particular view of the world doesn't work out so good. As Ram Dass says, they're so busy thinking about how things are supposed to be rather than seeing them as they are. In this particular case, seeing things as they actually are would reveal just how much they're screwing things up, which is not a place they're even capable of, at the moment...
This Person likes to call my friend on his days off and complain about how he needs to come back to work, basically, so This Person can feel good about themselves. Ostensibly to "take care of something," but we're working at the level of "The light in the closet is off, what are you gonna do about it?" Telling That Person where the light switch is alas never works, because my friend has to take care of it because that's why This Person made the phone call. Why Said Person can't deal with it themselves, especially after having done the equivalent of turning the light off themselves, that's a mystery. And definitely a pain in the ass.
Anyway, I told him that hmm, this might be fun, I don't recommend it but it's fun to imagine... So, imagine this: If This Person calls over the weekend, don't answer (phone tells you who's calling, after all). When you come in to work after the weekend, This Person will probably grouse about "Where were you?" implying "not answering my calls to see to ME," and just say one word:
If This Person keeps grousing, whip a catheter (which I'm happy to supply) out of your pocket, drop it in front of Said Person, and say again:
And walk away.
It's gonna be really funny when Said Person tries to get out of that one, or if Said Person clearly wants nothing to do with, oh I dunno, the existence of people other than Said Person themselves.
I always find the funny.
And, y'know, sometimes that's not just all you have, but it's often just what you need.
Us MSers come across that sort of thing all the time. Well, it's OBVIOUS what you should do, They say. Of COURSE that's what you need to do, They say.
And of course it always comes down to the same thing: Well, much as I agree with you, I ain't going go do it but well, I can't. It's on the level of telling guy in a wheelchair that something will be ever so much better if said Guy would just stand up and do the whatever... Yes, I agree, but I can't stand up, so that ain't gonna happen. Fortunately, there are few people who like my friend are dealing with Certain People who are incapable of understanding anything outside of their own head.
My acupuncturist often treats "not being able to see outside of your own head" with a needle to CV1. Having had too many of those, I know how that feels, and it really does work. But wondering how Said People can't see outside of their own head, bemoaning that they don't, and trying (and failing) to convince them to change...
As the saying goes, how's that working out for you?
But one thing we MSers can provide, because we know how it goes, we really do...
Which for a gift we can give, MS or not...
That ain't bad.