Thursday, July 23, 2015

Not a bad idea

Well, at least I did some music this morning. Fixed some stuff, now we're ready to fix the next stuff.

Manipulating the computer is taking a lot of effort. A lot of effort. Controlling hands at all is nearly not happening...  Let's be honest, I'm controlling some, sometime quite enough to function, but the living with working around misfunctioning hands, correction after correction after mistype followed by more correction... well, to put it bluntly, is no fun at all.

This is WAY different from "How am I going to fix this" or "NOW what's the tune supposed to be?" and the usual Composer's Dilemmas... That, I'm quite used to. But tring to hold down, say, an A-flat on the piano-style keyboard, and instead the finger won't stay on the key, won't press down, won't do anything useful or usable... and that takes time and energy away from trying to accomplish something, anything, which means that hand issues or no hand issues, I get sucked dry of energy and thus can do fewer or no creative things.

What am I stuck on? Memories of bygone days of using my hands? Of being able to actualize creation? I'm sure someone might say coarsely, "Well, deal with it," but "dealing," I ain't doing.

And I've hit the wall and need to go to bed.

I want to welcome the answer to this difficulty. Not to "accept it," but to welcome the answer.

Well there I go again. Gotta change my consciousness.

Not a bad idea, in and of itself.

1 comment:

Muffie said...

Hope you get that A flat; if not, try G sharp. ;-] Seriously, do what you can when you can, and be well. I so understand the whole hand not cooperating thing.