Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Something worth practicing

Some musings on loss, and release.

I'm on the knife's edge of dealing with the selling of my truck. I've had this since 1998 or so, I had it rejiggered to enable me to drive it with hand controls, and using said controls, drove it for years.

But not any more. A large stack of details, but basically, there ain't no way for me to drive it, even if I wanted to.

It's hard to find someone or something to yell at for "You stole this from me!" Factual fault off the table for the moment, there have been a person or two whom I have wished I could have yelled at, and maybe even taken some benefit therefrom. Somehow. Maybe...

But things neurological, those aren't as straightforward as Androcles and the lion that could be healed by just pulling out the thorn. My nervous system has, basically, bad wiring. What's to be done? Well, besides "pray without ceasing," as the Good Book says, nothing to be done. Same as aging... That happens, eventually. Yell all you want, if you insist, but all you'll bet is hoarse.

But the truck... it has been my truck! for so long, through thick and thin. And now it's time to bless it and release it.

But I feel no wish to yell at anyone, anything, existing or not. There's no "you took my truck from me! My freedom!" begging to be given voice. No, it's.... Denial? No, it has to be dealt with, I've known it needs dealing with for quite a while now, went through a very very energetically taxing trip to the DMV to get the correct forms.

And all I feel is... Goodbye, old friend. It's not denial, it's not grief, it's... the moment when you're in the dentist's chair and you refer to the tooth that's ... just ready to go... and you just say, "I think it's time to deal with that tooth." And what comes next, you know yourselves, although My Guy was as close to painless as a dentist gets. All our farewells should be that easy to endure.

So that's a good consciousness-change to work on. Say goodbye to condemnation, especially at things that don't actually exist... that takes more effort than we have to give, in this little life of ours, certainly among those of us who have been "accessorized."

The folks in the Science of Mind church would say, "I bless you and release you to your good."

Something worth practicing.

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