Friday, March 6, 2015


An interesting gift of being pretty much house-bound, certainly being chair-bound, non-driving, non... pretty much anything... is seeing the difference between "needs" and "wants."

I "need" whatever it is I say I need, at the moment. It's often a whim, a preference. I "need" new Pop-tarts. I "need" to see a new Adventure Time; it has, after all, been a full seven days since the last one.
I "need"--well, I'd really, really like--the cat to stop screaming at me. If nothing else, I'd really like to understand what it is she's "talking" about.

But real needs? I need my prescription medications available by their schedule; take what I'm supposed to take at the time that I'm supposed to take them. I need medical devices available and ready when I need them; no worries, no justifications, I need what I need when I need it or Bad Things may happen. What said Bad Things may be depends on the devices and how my need for them is expressing itself.

But, the gift? Seeing how the caregiver needs care given. And said caregiver is just like me; sometimes it's "wants" and fulfilling said wants would be very much enjoyed, but sometimes it's "needs" and best you should fulfill those as best you can. And sometimes what's really important is... nothing.

Ask no care of the caregiver. Send the caregiver out to have fun on their own terms, and in their own way.

The smiles you get back are, in their own way, care given to you.

So, sometimes wu wei, or the doing of nothing, is the doing of...


1 comment:

Muffie said...

A good reminder of wants vs. needs! And you're so right -- we must be cognizant of both the needs and wants of those who care for us!