Adding suffering to suffering, my poor wife was struggling with one of the Worst Migraines Ever. She was barely well enough to go get a massage, my ministrations of whisked matcha that usually help set things aright did nothing. A bad day for everyone.
Ram Dass has a lot to say about suffering, and transforming that into something higher, but I don't think that wise as Ram may be, transforming other's suffering is a different, and yet somehow the same, problem.
Taking care of the person who you rely upon to take care of you... Well, I don't have much to offer you, gentle reader, besides a simple first-thing-to-try:
Patience.
Just be with them where they are. Be here now. Nothing matters besides... love.
Would it be nice if they suddenly started taking care of you? Yeah, if they were able to care for you. And if they can't... well, as Ram Dass reminds us, be here now. Yeah, it sucks, like that's new, for us MSers. Speak the truth with love. So, say it with me.
It sucks.
And now...
Be here now.
That's the truth, so as you remind yourself of this, tell that truth...
With love.
2 comments:
As someone who doubles as caregivee and caregiver because my long-time caregiver husband is now increasingly infirm due to illness and age, I can verify that the situation sucks. For what it's worth, I have probably experienced more personal growth from this than anything. But I still say it sucks. Sometimes enlightenment and wisdom et al are a sorry reward if you're too tired or stressed out or just plain non compos to be able to enjoy it. Just saying.
I'm going through a similar situation. My husband/helper/caregiver/etc. is suffering from sciatica. I don't ask for help unless absolutely necessary. There's really nothing I, in turn, can do to help. So, as you said, I just try patience.
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