Wednesday, April 8, 2015


What may very well be a gift of MS, which I'm only now beginning to experience consciously...

Not losing my shit.

Even in a quiet way. Which, let's be honest with each other, happens all too easily and regularly.

Even all too constantly.

Those who are sharing the homespace with another, perhaps even a "significant other," perhaps just another; but such things happen a lot, especially when said two people see things from different visual angles, such as one walking, one in a wheelchair.

But you know how the pattern goes... Something (for this particular example, doesn't matter what said thing actually is) is taking up a place you don't expect. Something is thus I  THE WAY or In the Wrong Place or both. Then, you lose your shit.

"Where's my fill-in-the-blank?"

"That fill-in-the-blank is in my way."

Said squealing can also be couched in accusation... "YOU (or whoever has roused your ire) left this in my way!" or "YOU took this away from where it's supposed to be!"

Not exactly a path to peace, is it?
And yes, nowadays, I see these things, and although I may say to myself "Gotta move that" or "well, that's in the way" and then move it, go around it, or give up. None of them with judgment or corrosive commentary.

Ram Dass describes such moments as "There I go again." At worst, I must admit to reaching for a mantra specifically designed to let go of contrary stuff, but that's as bad as it gets. Usually. But that's work for me to do, and what comes of it? Acceptance? Forgiveness, maybe? Peace?
Next, I "get" (huge air quotes) to call some people about installing a new--actually, "old," one revision before the current one--operating system. Much about my main machine is very unhappy and is stopping me from doing things I love.

Sound familiar, fellow MSers? Has this happened to you, maybe?
Perhaps indeed...


1 comment:

Muffie said...

I'm fortunate in that my 'filter' remains in place, and what might be said, just remains as a thought. I won't deny that, at times, I start to boil over, wondering why 'another' cannot understand why I need things to be a certain way...or why something I could do yesterday, I can't do today...or why I get frustrated over trivial difficulties. As they say, " You don't GET it (i.e., understand it) until you get it (i.e., contract the disease.)" [sigh]