First, in the comedy-you-can't-write category: The common parlance for bladder demands is "urgency." My current experience of it is "run around in circles, screaming in a jump-out-a-window, abandon-the-collapsing-WTC-style 'panic' " rather than mere "urgency." But when its demands are met, it does not respond with much enthusiasm. Earlier this week, I had to pull off the freeway to use my handy-dandy Starbucks cups (which I keep under my seat for just such emergencies), but what B-san provided when given the opportunity to, as Shakespeare said, "vent his folly," I would hardly describe as "enthusiastic." Certainly not "voluminous," or even "much."
Other adventures: I'm the "calling stage manager" for the Big Musical at the high school at which I work. I tell the spotlight operators what to do, I tell the light-board operator when to hit the "go" button to make the board move to the next cue. I also assist the sound mixer by as-needed-adjusting one slider (thank goodness, only one) to correct the in-the-mix balance on one particular instrument. There have been a few moments when I felt my attention slipping away from the show and task, but only I and the Almighty noticed--no missed cues! The performers are stellar, and their performances in the "magic moments" I purposefully created in the lighting design are astounding. But keeping that razor's edge of attention for two-plus-hours, with only an occasional break, is more draining than it used to be. Then again, it could be just age, rather than The Disease; but, how is that reassuring?
I suppose that last question also fits in the "comedy you can't write" category...
And I'm also seeking comedy... Usually, it finds me, but at my workplace, there's some stuff going on (details aren't important to this narrative) that is currently firing all my "resentment" axons. It's interesting that I can laugh at my "M.S.-inspired" physical changes, but at things caused by other humans in my work environment, I get angry. I can find the comedy in my own neurological nonsense, but the actions of others piss me off. Majorly.
I don't need to find the people funny. I don't need to find their actions funny. I need to find the situation funny. Even more, I need to find me funny. Because when I can laugh at myself, at my own silliness within the context of the world, the same way I laugh at what has been caused by my own nervous system... I'll be free.
Laughing at yourself is definitely one of the gifts of M.S. It is for me, at least... and I really, really, really, need to avail myself of it.
I need more of what having M.S. has given me: laughing at my own silliness.
How often is it, that we ask for MORE of what M.S. has done for us?
Now, that's comedy!