Sunday, July 4, 2010

Uptown/Downtown

I'm now walking with two canes. Well, not "canes," exactly--they're hiking sticks, they're about 4.5 feet tall. They're tall so I don't lean on them (ideally), and when I'm really using them correctly, they're just for balance and steadiness rather than digging in and pushing. When I'm using them best, I walk with them at my sides, with my chest open and my shoulders relaxed.

My balance and posture are great, when I'm using them correctly. They make me feel much more secure in my walking. They make me feel more balanced; yeah, I was shifting the cane from hand to hand a lot, to try to impose evenness, but with one in each hand, my effort is balanced evenly between my right and left hands. They're a great change. So that's good.

But somehow, with two walking sticks... somehow, now, I actually think I feel like I'm really disabled. I was feeling challenged... but now, I feel disabled. That's not good.

I'm definitely gonna have to let this go a few days and see how my process plays out.

1 comment:

Anne said...

Hi there: Been a while since I stopped by, sorry about that.

I have been practicing being normal in an abnormal world. Yes, you read that right. I believe I am normal - for what passes as normal in the progression of the MS disease.

You are walking now with two canes. You are normal in the progression of the MS disease.

You are only as disabled as you let others believe or profess you to be....as long as you can still "do" your basic things for yourself, then you are not as disabled as you think you are.

You most likely have to accept where you are in this disease, mentally and physically. Then go on to accept whatever implements you need to get along in life with this disease.

Only then, Robert, will you be able to accept YOU.

Being as active as you are (music, kyudo, etc.), I don't think you will have to think about it very long.

Anne

PS I think it is ok to have "disabled days", but not a totally "disabled life." :-)