Friday, July 16, 2010

Rubicon revisited--why stop at ONE?

Another "last time," at least for now.

Drove my truck from Pasadena to Reseda and back. 60 miles. Was visiting a new herbalist. Had a wonderful exam, got a new formula. If what he gives me works, it's gonna make a big difference.

And, oh yeah. I think that was the last time I'll drive my truck. I don't want to say "ever," but certainly "until my leg symptoms vanish." But because this means that I need to get replacement wheels... it might as well be "ever."

I started talking to people about selling my truck. I started asking around for maybe where to get another car.

How I'm gonna pay for said car AND for MS... that remains to be seen.

Another one of Those Moments. I don't know how I feel about this, yet. Am I ... simply accepting it? Am I ... not really connecting to it? Am I ... just numb?

Definitely something I'm tired of. Not really knowing precisely how I feel about things... especially when those "things" are things that would, under more common circumstances, wig people out. I don't know if I'm not wigging out because I'm accepting them, or because I'm not connecting to them.

So, over the last two days, I've pretty much said goodbye to my career as an organist and to my vehicular independence. Hm.

Not bad, for one weekend. Wonder what'll happen Sunday? (At least I have rides already scheduled...)

1 comment:

Muffie said...

I admire the way you face issues so bravely! As I began to "lose" things that were a major part of my life -- mobility, job, hobbies -- I fought the reality each time. I hope things work out for you.