Tuesday, June 30, 2009


I've been reminded recently of some of the teachings of the church at which I held my first organ job (at the age of 13), a small congregation called the Science of Mind Church for Creative Living. Their favorite sayings included "Thoughts become things" and "As a man thinketh, so is he."

They taught that the way you think effects the way you live; that consciousness of lack attracts lack, and consciousness of abundance attracts abundance. One way you can measure how you think is by observing the language that you use, and one way to change your consciousness (and thus your circumstances) is by changing your language.

One example of this would be the difference between the terms "differently abled" and "disabled," much as that particular turn of phrase has been the source of a lot of derision. One term reinforces your abilities, the other reinforces your lack of abilities. The key, of course, in making this sort of thing work, is that the affirming phrase must be true. "As a man thinketh, so is he" produces bad results when what the man thinketh is a lie.

I can usually come up with something both truthful and positive to describe my situation (eventually, at least). Right now, though, I'm hanging up on coming up with something that's merely true. I don't have a good handle on my situation. "Mired," that's a word that comes immediately to mind. "Stuck." Things like that. Low on energy, low on creativity, low on pretty much everything that I had hoped to have this summer.

At least I get the dishes done, and I made a quiche this evening. I'd rather be writing music, but for reasons I'm not clear on (yet) I'm not even getting started on that.

I used to be able to get things I have to do done as well as the things that I want to do. Now I'm having a hard time clearing the former from my to-do list. Heck, I remember to put things on my to-do list, but I don't remember to check my to-do list, much less do the things on it.

Something's in my way. I don't know what it is. Is it The Disease? I don't honestly know. Is it something upstream of The Disease? I don't know.

Not knowing what's wrong is more uncomfortable than having something actually be wrong.

Acupuncture tomorrow. Answers? Probably not. Different? Almost certainly. How much different? ... Who knows? We'll see.

1 comment:

Denver Refashionista said...

Here's my suggestion. Try taking in some art for a while instead of trying to create it. Read something beautiful. Listen to some great music. Go to the art museum or even out for a short walk.

Today I read blogs to get my writing flowing. I also found a photograph and printed it so I would have ideas for painting. At night when I can't sleep, I like to imagine designs and clothes I will make. I am finding that being patient and that working on things that move me in the moment helps keep me inspired. I'm not worrying about results, I'm just creating for the sake of creation. With the pressure to produce off, I feel better.