Saturday, June 14, 2014

You never know...

An amazing place to be, right now.

If MS were an entity, I would say that it had brought me to a very very amazing place. Since it doesn't exist, there is no "agency" to ascribe to it, but I am in a very amazing place, MS and everything.

Fortunately, through a combination of prudent investments, help from experts to survive the Various Kinds Of Insurance world, the gifts of the Spirit, and/or blind luck, depending on how one sees such things, I've got a house and medical care and the ability to support my wife in her endeavors (who helps me very sweetly in my own, when she can).

The job that I had for years turns out to have been bad for me. Leaving it was one of the best things I could ever have done, and my doctor/acupuncturist/spiritual advisor wondered why it took me so long to get out of it.

Typing, right now/today/this moment, is no fun at all. Use my right hand for anything, I spend more than half of what little time I have sitting at the computer just correcting WTF errors. Even using only my left, I spend nearly that amount of time with error handling/correction. Some days I try to write music... then bail, because manual coordination just ain't there. Or sitting at the computer ain't there. Or something else Medical needs dealing with now now now...

If MS were an entity, I would be stuck on things it has taken away.

And what do I have left?

Pretty much all I have the "anything" for... is working on the spirit. Meditate. Chant mantras. Just sit, perhaps not Zen-like but Zen-spirit-like, at least. Make tea. Look at the birds, the bees, the flowers, the... Everything of Nature, and specifically to seek out seeing things I've never seen before. As Emerson said, get my bloated nothingness out of the way of the divine currents.

The great jihad is the inner jihad. Yeah, instead of fighting with The Enterprise at my former workplace, I seek enlightenment, and enjoy the gifts that Nature gives.

A better pursuit, really... And MS and all, it's actually a nice life, living in pursuit of the Spirit.

Give it a try. You never know what you may discover.

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