So, I thought I'd share one with you! Here's what I suggest that you do: Read the text below, in your best "announcerly" voice. And I promise you, I am all but 100% certain about this, that you (as well as anyone who hears you speaking them) will never, never, hear these words again. For any reason. Anywhere. Ever.
And here they are:
Ask your doctor if sheep placenta is right for you.
Yes, that's a real product. I photographed this on the shelf of a recent Chinese pharmacy. Some places have human placenta on the shelf, even. The most powerful of all Yin tonics, I'm told, human placenta is. Chinese herbalists who use it don't generally tout it very loudly (especially to Westerners, even if they'll quietly label it "placenta hominid") but those who use it, do use it.
But this is the huge difference between the Eastern and Western pharmaceutical approach: The West provides drugs for people, in large not-particularly-differentiated masses. (They won't give MS drugs to "anyone," but they do want to give them to "anyone with MS.") The East concocts formulas for you. Today. Here and now. And be sure to take it now, because in a month, maybe even in a couple of weeks, it won't be appropriate any more, because you won't be the same.
But what about the double-blind controlled study? Well, if you're seeing the right guy, he's living in a world of study, they've got hundreds or thousands of years under their belts in history behind these formulas, where he sees how certain things help people experiencing certain things, and can extrapolate, based on his experience with you, to how those things can help you.
If you're not Yin deficient, there's no point giving you a Yin booster. Pretty straightforward, ain't it? 'Course, that's a qualitative, not quantitative observation, but that's definitely another story for another day.
If you're getting benefit from some drug or other, good! That's the whole point. If you're getting no benefit, why bother? That's not the point, is it?
I used to be on all sorts of "help you pee" pills. They made me nasty loopy, nasty "dizzy" as the sticker on the bottle warned. Caused nothing to full-on malfunction, fortunately, but they definitely caused problems.
Well, turns out, if all you wanted me to do was create lots of urine, how about drinking lots of water, or better yet, this high-grade wild pu-erh tea? Reading the amount that I extract from my bladder with a self-catheter, and how often I have to do it, pu-erh is really good at this. And doesn't make me dizzy, or anything, except happy. Because I like it. And its earthiness is perfect for chilly winter days!
And oh yeah, bowel problems? Things don't like to ... move? Pu-erh is hardly a "man the pumps!" explosive emptier like manganese citrate or the sort of things they like to give you to prep for being 'scoped, but it encourages the system to, well, work. Work the way it's supposed to work. Easily, and pleasantly. And there's definitely nothing wrong with that!
So, go find some good pu-erh (easily available on the web, and if you're lucky enough to find a human at a tea emporium that can help you with it, that's even better), brew it, enjoy it! And laugh. Because c'mon, using tea as both a reassuring beverage and a healthy tonic? Putting the poo in pu-erh?
Ask your doctor if laughing is right for you.
I'm gonna guess that... it is.
And you gotta laugh at that!