A visit to the dentist Monday said that I'd need a tooth removed. Knew that was coming (actually, I was warned that that was going to happen about forty years ago, it's a baby tooth that never had a permanent tooth grow to push it aside, we knew it was gonna last about this long at best). Oh well, two out of three medical visits being good news is pretty good, in this business.
My neurologist-cum-G.P.-cum-acupuncturist said that my leg weakness was about half nerve damage, half "you're out of practice," so get some exercise, dammit, you wanna be in a wheelchair 100% of the time or what? Well, the answer is "what," obviously. Besides "no lifting weights," his suggestion was to do any exercise rather than no exercise, so there we go.
'Course, my "walking," and that's in huge air quotes, "walking," even with the walker, is pretty wacky right now. Part of the problem is that I'm actually getting sensation in my legs. As well as full-on numbness. As Mr. Spock would say, "Fascinating." And, it really is unusual. I'd find it entertaining, if I wasn't concerned that I'd fall over at any second. Except I don't, somehow.
This is one of the damnedest things about this phase of the disease—false alarms. "Urgency," as the turn of phrase has it. But when the time comes... no, nothing urgent about it. "You're going to fall over, any second now." Except I don't. Somehow.
What an interesting adventure, it is... To be confronted with "This is just a sensation. There is no 'truth' in it. It is just a sensation." To feel with absolute certainty that your senses are reporting something completely true to you, and then a manifestation (or lack thereof) shows with absolute certainty that said sensation wasn't "true." And I get the converse, too... A sensation that "there is nothing happening." And then I'm shown that there was/is something happening. One sensation is false, one sensation is true.
Is the lesson "There is no false, there is no true, there just is ... is"? Well, interpreting this as "I can't trust my own body" is more depressing and doesn't extend in its Zen-ness to the rest of the world...
Or perhaps the lesson is... eat the strawberry.