Friday, February 18, 2011

Releasing (why IS it so hard?)

My kyudo shishou (Japanese for "mentor," as he has chosen to be called) just posted on Facebook that "Kyudo is the art of releasing... of letting go..."

I've often written about this Japanese martial/spiritual art. I was taught, and I try to express in my practice, that kyudo is about offering yourself, and opening yourself, to the bow, and the arrow, and the target, and the universe. There's a lot about kyudo that involves doing our job correctly, as best you can--but also, about staying out of the way; about not hanging onto things that weren't yours to begin with, and never can be yours--so why are you holding onto them?

The MS Road is proving to be a spiritual journey, about integration, and listening, and especially about release. Especially releasing things that weren't mine to begin with and never will be, so why am I holding onto them?

Do the physical "issues" get in my way? Sometimes. Slow me down? Frequently. Disappoint me? Disappoint others? Well... yeah. I try to pretend that they don't, but they do. And releasing that pretense is the first step to transcending the disappointment.

"The bow and the arrow always tell you the truth about yourself." That's what my teacher said the day I met him; that's what convinced me that I had to find out more.

It would seem that the MS Road always tells you the truth about yourself. And releasing your reaction to the road, and to what it brings you, is the first step to transcending the changes the journey throws at you.

All things considered... it would seem that injecting yourself with semi-toxic "disease modifying" substances is easier than transcending yourself.

Well, I ain't about to inject myself with that stuff. No way, no how.

Guess I better start working on the "transcending" thing, huh?

Or, at least, to go practice some kyudo.

It's a start.

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