A typical, if not daily, conversation with, for example, the bladder. He has an unglamorous, but important job. Before the MS experience, he was always someone you could count on. Within the MS world, he's... opinionated. Unpredictable. Impossible to please. "Mr. B.", let's call him. Since I'm a big anime fan, let's call him B-san.
The conversations too often go like this...
Me: "So... you need something?"
B-san: "Nah. I'm good. (pause--maybe long, maybe short. Always a surprise.) OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO"
A hasty journey to the Necessarium. Then:
Me: "OK, we're here..." (Silence.) "Something I can do for you?"
B-san: "Nah. I'm good."
Me: (long pause) "OK. We'll come back later." (stands up)
B-san: "NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW"
We try again. Something happens. Finally. Sort of. Probably something not very impressive.
Me: "Well, that was worth waiting for, I guess... " (Cue the laugh track) "All done?"
B-san: "Yes! Thank you very much!"
Me: "Then let's be on our way!" (stands)
B-san: "Um... excuse me... I think.. maybe... well... ah......"
Me: "Fine." (Sits. Waits. Nothing.)
B-san: "Why are we still here? Something else, you wanted?"
Me: "Never mind." (Stands)
B-san: "Don't leave! OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO" (Cue the laugh track)
Somehow, I find my fourteen-year-old cat easier to deal with. The cat meows. Maybe it wants to be fed? No, there's food in the dish, maybe it wants different food. Maybe it wants to be rubbed? Not here, of course, over there, being rubbed here is no good... No, follow me into this room, rub me here, and then give me more food.
Making it happy? Who knows how to do that? But going to the bathroom? That, it can take care of just fine. It goes outside, and everything works perfectly, first time, every time.
But with B-san, every conversation is... trying to persuade the unpersuadable. The classic "irresistible force meets the immovable object" is a much simpler conundrum. Let's try to give him what he wants. Sounds easy... but even he doesn't know what he wants! Watch our hero as he deals with someone who can't seem to make up his mind, no matter how hard you try to please him! Hilarity ensues!
Comedy like this, you just can't write.