[X]couragement

Had an absolutely wonderful day today, collaborating with a colleague of mine about the set design for our upcoming musical, "King and I." He's taking the production design in a very interesting direction, he loves my set- and lighting-design ideas. I'm in hog heaven. During our discussion, many new and wonderful ideas were born. I'll be building set models next week, construction will start within the month.

Musically--compositionally, I've been having challenges coming up with good ideas. Theatrically, I'm doing wonderfully. I love my ideas, and fortunately enough, so does the director. We really love working together.

Made one trip to one prop shop; it was a bit tricky navigating some of the aisles, but we found more than a few things we'd want to use in the show.

That was encouraging.

I got home, hit the bed, and sacked out for ... three? Three and a half? hours. Completely out of steam. It's too late to start working on anything, now (this was the best I could come up with).

That could be discouraging. If I had enough energy to gear up that emotion.

I've always -- until now -- lived the life of the easy overachiever. Do something big! Then work on something else that was big! Have dinner, and then work on something big!

My set design is actually, in many ways, pretty small. But it's powerful. Zen gardens don't contain a lot of stuff, but they have a lot of power. Is my fate to create things of great power, but not great size? Or great quantity? (At least, the size or quantities that I was used to?)

I suppose it's hardly a loss, if all I'm losing is volume... if the "density" goes up.

But I feel it as a loss. And if one thing the Neurological Road keeps reminding me, it's to not deny the truth of my feelings about the Road.

And denial is so easy. So very, very easy,