Abstinence (not)

Every few weeks, I swear to give up reading the news. And then I start reading it again.

If there's one thing I don't really need in my life, it's more "againstness." MS is all about "againstness." Your nervous system fighting itself to chew away at the myelin, to form more scleroses. Your nervous system fighting itself as it tries to recircuit itself, finding new paths around the damage.

I don't really know what's with this unbreakable fascination I seem to have to hear about people shouting at and about each other, in today's hot-topic health-care-payment "debate." I mean, I don't mind "argument" in the logical sense of the word, but there's a difference between argument-as-application-of-logic and argument-as-incoherent-hate-spewing.

I really don't need to steep myself in anger, terror, and desperation. I need to steep myself in unity. In peace. In reconciliation. In compassion. None of which I'm going to find in the news, today or (probably) ever. I really don't know what I'm looking for, compulsively reading the news... but I ain't findin' it, that's for damned sure.

Lord, I know you're not going to take my MS from me. But please, help me break my addiction to reading "news" that's nothing but report after report of people luxuriating in their own ignorance and terrors... is that really so much to ask?