Better (or at least, different)

BIG acupuncture treatment yesterday; treating two of my Fire officials, during the Fire season of the year, during a specific time of day during which these two officials have a little extra "oomph." Plus I got unblocked and got a couple of other I-don't-know-what-they-were-for points as a bonus.

On the drive home, all the colors of the city lights were brighter. Pretty cool.

Anyway, I was much better this morning. Walking is still pretty darn strange right now, and I'm still more than a little low on energy, but at least life is worth living. And, at least the non-spinning spins are better.

Doc said that vertigo, like I've been suffering from the last couple of weeks, is just one of the many typical bonuses we get, free with our MS. I asked him if I was having "an attack" or "an exacerbation" or whatever they call it... and he said something about how he didn't really think much of the official MS terminology was accurate, useful, or helpful; but he didn't go into much detail, we had other things to talk about. Given how vague most of the effects of this disease have been (I "sort of" have trouble doing x, y, z, things "sort of" hurt, sometimes), using terminology that implies some sort of discrete values--now you're having an attack, now you aren't--creates an illusion of certainty and clarity, in a situation where the truth is foggy and ambiguous. It's trying to put a quantitative overlay on something that is essentially qualitative; so in one motion, it misses the point and encourages you to think that you actually understand something, when in fact you don't; and now you're even more ignorant because you don't know that you're ignorant.

But he did give me one piece of very clear advice. What do you do when something like this hits you? Ride it out. Because really, that's about all you can do. "Some people would give you drugs," he said, "but they'd make you feel worse." And as much as I'm not enjoying a lot of this ride, at least I'm not having what little pleasure I have extinguished by "helpful" medications. (Let me again emphasize, dear reader, if you need them, then you need them, and I don't have anything to say about that. But I don't, and my doctor doesn't think I do either, so I don't have anything to do with them.)

So, with any luck, I'll have turned the corner out of this particular dark alley.

With luck.

We'll see.