Reach

Back from the acupuncturists; one of the usual, but fortunately least-painful-to-clear, blocks, probably brought on by The Incident last week, and which may have had something to do with the driving problems I was experiencing yesterday; and best of all, one of the inner-forearm points I have to get all too often (Inner Frontier Gate) that always hurts and is emotionally racking, this time was neither.

Next week, I think he's going to start an especially powerful treatment sequence ("trippy" is the way he described it), from which I'll be need to be driven home. Having had his lysergic-esque treatments before... it's going to be everything he says it is, and more, and driving myself home from that will definitely be a Bad Idea.

I just encountered MS, a Life of Learning, a very eloquent blog by a very eloquent lady. She writes frequently about how all of us MS-ers have to learn about the disease differently because it affects all of us differently, and that's also why we all have to meet it differently. Her latest entry talks about things that she's had to overcome to be a full participant in her daughter's life. It especially resonated with me, because my MS experience has certainly involved confronting how, and whether, things have been "within reach." Too many questions...

• Are you capable of doing something?
• If you are in fact capable of doing it, "can" and "should" are completely different questions... and we have different levels of "should." Morally or emotionally should you do it? Physically should you do it?

So many things that I used to do without even thinking about, I now find just out of reach. So... let it lie where Jesus flang it, as an old colleague of mine used to say? Or stretch, and reach for it? And if I decide to stretch, what will it really gain me? What will it really cost me?

Ah, another of the gifts of MS. Honesty. Because self-protection is one thing, but hiding from the truth because you don't want to look at it... well, that's just a waste of energy and time, the two things MS immediately reminds you that you do not have in unlimited quantities.