How's that working out for you?

Had a wonderful, wonderful, acupuncture treatment yesterday. For those of you who fear the pain that might (must? or so you fear) entail... First, some acupuncturists hurt a lot. Some hurt a lot. But this one doesn't. There are always points that are going to hurt anyway, and we all have our list of them, but most of the time, there's no pain. Some times the brain interprets the signals it's receiving as pain because it has no other way, but one can train one's self to experience it differently, and it can be quite nice, actually. Except the points that just plain hurt.

We also had a very good dharma talk, about (among many things) what I can call most quickly "keeping grudges." Such-and-such group did me wrong (or so I feel), even thinking about said Group sets me off sullen/mad. I can't quote het correctly, but one of her thoughts boiled down to "How's that working for you?"

Clearly, it's not.

I am reminded of Dicken's Christmas Carol, the exchange between Scrooge and the ghost of Marley. Marley says of himself:

"I wear the chain I forged in life."... "I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. “ 

Well ... clearly, that's me too.

Another good thought: That was then, this is now.

Today, I am typing in today's way. Today, I am using the music software in today's way. Foaming about how this ain't the way it's spoze to be, this ain't the way I've spent years getting good ta ... the list just keeps going on and on.

So, today ... I'm going to do what I can the way that I can. If a small and easy change will make things better at all, and the change is "makable," make it and keep moving.

I had an idea (for example). Note it. If I have the strength to start it, start it. It really really doesn't matter how much gets done. Just do something. But only what can be done, in the way it can be done.

And really, what does it profit me to wig out over how I can't do it like I used to?

Well, age does that at its own speed, as apparently does my neurological nonsense. And spending what little time I have at raging at those two?

How's that working out for you?