Well, it was a day at the MD/neurologist/acupuncturist.
Some very powerful points, directed at my current spiritual/emotional challenges. The spiritual issues are as challenging as the neurological... at least they're addressable.
I read off the Litany of Stuff That Isn't Working. He noted something about needing to do some research on something he maybe maybe might suggest I try... non-pharmaceutical, a "food" thing.
Told me that morning headaches might be assuaged by a different pillow system. (Boy, that takes me back... home-improvement shows used to toss the word "system" about quite profligately, it's a word I haven't used except in the context of Deming for many a year, and never in the context of home-improvement hardware...)
As to the remainder of the List of Malfunctions... well, we didn't talk about them. I did, but we didn't. Because we've talked about them before, there's nothing to do about them. He understands (oh boy does he understand) but there's nothing he can add to the discussion that he hasn't already.
Tomorrow, I'm trying some physical therapy; we'll see if that does anything. I don't expect that anything will come of it, but heck, it's worth giving it a shot. More details when they're available.
I found an M.S. group on Facebook. Lots of encouraging photos, a great deal of "keep the spirit up" stuff. And, for those that it helps, I'm glad. The right tool for the right job, and all that... In our milieu, it's more correct to speak about the right medicine applied to the right people in the right way, and all sorts of miracles happen.
Encouraging me to keep my spirits up doesn't really work. "Don't give up!" the posters say. And nicely too. But they aren't really impeding my "giving up"-edness.
Frankly, I need results. I need to feel better. I'm not demanding The Cure to make my spirits go up, but dammit, I want to feel better. Write music. Laugh. Care about things. Feel better. My acupuncture treatment today was aimed specifically at addressing that... we'll see how well that works. If that works.
Well, at least I haven't given up on that. Acupuncture has make a lot of things better... we'll see where this treatment takes me. Really, I haven't given up.
But as Flame Princess so eloquently said... I'm not having any fun.