Monday, April 9, 2012

That's good

Not often do I get full-blown pain. I got it today.

This Thing falls on the floor and rolls under something. Nothing breaks, The Thing just rolls under something. No problem, I think, this'll be easy, I'll just get on my knees and pick it up and away we go.

So, I struggle to get to my knees. And that's when the pain starts. I've never had that much pain just kneeling on the floor. Yeah, it's a wooden rather than carpeted floor, but still. That much pain?

It was horrible.

Anyway, I retrieved The Thing, and I'm ready to stand up. Or so I think... Not only are my knees screaming in agony for being on the hard floor, but I can't get my feet underneath me so I can stand up. I can't move my leg into a decent position to get a foot underneath my weight, and the foot keeps... sliding... to the side, in the wrong direction.

I know, I think, I'll just grab something and hoist myself up enough to get enough weight off my legs and feet, so I can get a foot underneath me and finish the process. Great idea! Doesn't work. Can't get a decent grip on the chair I'm in front of, can't find anything else I can use to heave myself up.

Somehow, somehow, I manage to get a foot underneath myself and I can push down with the leg and somehow get myself standing again.

And, my first thoughts? Not crap, I really am handicapped,Not boy, that really sucked!—surprisingly nothing negative. Nothing! Just one word came to mind... Whew! And wonderful, wonderful relief. Thankfulness for being able to stand... and relief.

Even when things go awry... "good" is still good. Even when it's just a little bit good... it's good. I was able to get up without crawling to another room! And I was even able to walk (a little) after getting up!

And all of those things... are good. And as we all learn, on the M.S. Highway... you take what you can get. And when you can get "good," even a little bit...

That's good.


Muffie said...

Oh, Robert, reading this evoked my "been there, done that" response. And I do understand that overwhelming feeling, not only of relief, but also of power! "I did it! On my own! I'm Super Me!"

Seriously, knowing you're not a proponent of Western medicine, I'd ask your acupuncturist or herbalist about the knee pain.

Silver Feet: said...

Hi. Just stumbled onto your blog via someone else's. I am not sure how progressed your ms is. Have you heard of Professor Jelinek and his book Overcoming multiple sclerosis? If not, may i suggest you take a read of it. As part of managing your MS, i don't know if you tried to change your diet significantly. I could write more, but my main message is - please find and read that book. Wish you all the best.

Robert Parker said...

Thank you both!

Yes indeed, I told my acupuncturist/MD about the knee pain. His response was, basically, "Oh dear—I'm sorry about that!" Compounding my MS issues is... age. I'm only 51, but still... age. (sigh)

And I will chase down Professor Jelinek's book. And I already *have* changed my diet significantly... and I think it's helping!