Friday, September 2, 2011

The Beginning of the End

... of the summer. I spent the day at school today getting stuff ready for the upcoming school year (first day of instruction is Wednesday, next week). And although I spent the day working and got all sorts of stuff taken care of, the one thing I wanted to do,the one thing that I left home specifically to do, didn't get done. It'll get done next Tuesday, before I make the weekly journey to the neurologist/acupuncturist.

My walking is not so good, right now, worse than usual, shakier and slower than what has up to now passed for "normal"—thank goodness I have a powered chair to use at school, otherwise it'd take me ten minutes to go the distance most people cover in under a minute. That I used to cover in that, or less, time.

I'm almost ready—have to do a little more planning—and after ten years at this, I shouldn't need to worry. Actually, I'm not worried... I'm kinda numb with disbelief. Numb with sort-of concern about how I'm going to make the very sudden shift from throwing the whole day out the window if I'm just not up to fill-in-the-blank, should fatigue drive me to do so, to having no option besides full-time, high-energy, success simultaneously performing and educating, which is pretty much what you have to do for ninth graders, the first week of school.

Not sure whether I'm in denial, or quietly confident, or scared, or really really in denial.

Pretty much par for the course for me, on this M.S. highway, isn't it?

1 comment:

Kim @ Stuff could... said...

I wonder the same thing about me, maybe I am really in denial....I hope you get to do the school work! That is a tough job.