My best therapy

The first Friday of the school year. And everyone is still happy with each other, even if homework and reading and all that sort of stuff has been assigned. I ended the week, as ever, with our Anime Club, and we set the room shaking with joviality and laughter.

There's a special magic between me and my students; they are beginning to realize that they are absolutely their own person, completely unique, someone completely different from the person they always thought they should already be, or should become, or was going to become; they're the person that they are becoming. It's fun, it's scary. And they really enjoy having someone to talk to who only cares about that person, the person they are and that they're becoming; and to have a non-parent adult they can trust, and who they can sometimes just watch cartoons with.

And they're my best therapy.

Right now, as I type this, my right leg below the knee is going seriously, seriously numb, and I've got really shoddy control with the other leg too. Getting up to walk to the bathroom, to the kitchen to get water, is a major operation. Standing at the sink to do dishes, standing at the cutting board and the stove to prepare dinner... eh, I dunno about that. It ain't gonna happen right now. Maybe it'll happen tomorrow, at least a little bit. How much will I be able to do? I really don't know... I don't know how long I'm going to be able to stand in the kitchen, recently it has been so hard to do that, I wonder how long I'll be able to stand or walk at all. I'm in a bit (bit?!?!?) of an energy nadir, I'm loathe to try to do creative work because I'm afraid it's gonna be crap, I'm loathe not to do it because I'm afraid of having things spin out of control into "permanently not done," I know I'll hate doing the latter but I'm afraid of doing the former.

But at least, I know I can keep my job. And I enjoy my students. And I tell them, "I just showed you how to format a paper suitable for turning it in to pretty much any teacher, and I showed you a trick that you'll be able to use for the rest of your life as a computer user, and I promised you that all of my tests would be open-note. Not bad for the first week of school, is it?" And they laughed. And so do I.

And they are my best, my most wonderful, therapy. They may not help my walking improve, but they give me nothing but beautiful quality-of-life. Suck on that, Tysabri.