Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Is it over?

Not the MS... the creative drought.

So I get this call from a church in New Jersey (I have a connection through one of my wife's college classmates), asking me if I could write them a piece for Christmas, with such-and-such an instrumentation.

I said yes... I must admit, somewhat haltingly, fearing that the creative energy just wouldn't be there, that the power simply to sit at the computer just wouldn't be there.

So I open a Christmas carol book, looking for some sort of seed/inspiration, and... I look at one of the carols, and I say, "That one!" And then I thought, no, not quite... and I keep looking, I land on another, and I say, "No--THAT one!!!"

About five minutes later, I have a tune, I have a seed for the whole composition. I just got some sketches down this evening, I'm a little low on steam and want to stop before I suck myself dry, but... I saw the answer. It hit me. The music is flowing again.

And maybe... just maybe... it'll keep flowing.

Might it have been the magician's conference that uncorked the bottle, as it were? We spent several days in a state of mental clarity and internal openness, reaching in to find our innermost selves and reaching out to share our hearts with each other, and trying to hitch our mental processes to find the techniques to channel that again, to connect our hearts through magic. A few days of very, very intense heart- and mind-opening, heart- and mind-connections. Both of which--and the simultaneity of which--I have really, really missed, for quite a while now.

Truth be told... why it started doesn't matter as much as "let's keep it going."

An acupuncture treatment tomorrow, which (I hope) will clear some of the fatigue, at least for a few more than the usual days. And clarity, for music writing.

Is the creative drought over?

Let's hope so. I've been hoping so every day for... weeks. Months. But, maybe this time...?

Hope springs eternal. Hope is something we always have; it's one of the main components out of which the universe was constructed.

If all goes well... I'll have more than just the comfort of hope. I'll have some music. And an open door for more to flow through.

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