Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Reassembled (for now)

Thank goodness for today's acupuncture. A double block... no wonder I didn't feel like doing anything. My head's still spinning a bit from a couple of the points, but given the choice between those needles and concomitant spins and the blocks, I'll take the needles.

Two prescriptions: Do a particular meditation daily, and do more kyudo. The first is to help me get out of the spiritual rut I'm in (which will help me get out of the energetic rut), and the second to get me to do some serious breathing (and oh yeah, the other things kyudo does for me, which will contribute to the getting out of the spiritual/energetic rut). I've really been craving air and light; although the bed has been very attractive over the last week or two, and I've spent much of my time there, I've really "caught a spark" those few moments I went outside. Fortunately, LA is warming up this week, so it'll be easier to open the house's windows, and to get myself outside.

One of the key points of the meditation he wants me to do is that it's offered for the benefit of all. He says (of his own process) that he sometimes gets into a state where he doesn't want to do something for himself, but when he's doing it for the benefit of all, he can find the energy. Certainly, when I need to take care of my wife when she's got a migraine, it doesn't matter how crappy I feel, I can summon whatever is required to take care of her. Even when I'm completely sucked dry of energy at school, if one of the students needs attention, I can provide it. Certainly, a central tenet of the type of kyudo I do is that what you are doing is an offering of yourself.

And this is also a central tenet in my school of kyudo: You cannot receive until you give.

I've been wanting a change. I'm tired of being empty. Looks to me like the first steps on the pathway out of emptiness are in front of me.

Let's see if I can muster the willingness to start walking it.

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