Saturday, November 21, 2009

Better (-ish) (sort of)

Not quite into the light yet, but out of the depths of darkness.

Qi gong today... my practitioner blames my current downturn on the season, which is very much within my own history, many years pre-Diagnosis. Winter... squashes me. Autumn is always wonderful. Winter is just plain bad, energetically (for me, at least). Thank goodness I don't have the usual spate of Christmas concerts this year, they'd just plain do me in.

Something I noticed today at the treatment, which I have noticed before but wasn't quite at the top of my consciousness... Electrical heating, radiant heating, I don't feel in my legs very well at all. I put a heating pad on my legs at night, it vaguely helps; at qi gong, he puts a heat lamp over my legs, I barely feel it.

But the warmth of his hands, I feel. Same at night, the warmth of my wife's hands or legs, I feel. The heating pad, not so much.

Don't know what it means, but it's interesting.

Feeling good enough to work on music for the winter play... I'm feeling a little (a lot) behind on this whole show, I think I can still pull it out, but I'm not really in touch with the production or its schedule, and the combination of "lost," "under-informed," and "behind my own schedule" is not at all adding to my general comfort level.

But at least I'm getting something done tonight. In the words of the farmer at the end of Babe, "That'll do." And right now, that's good enough. But then again, isn't "good enough" good enough, by definition?

I don't know if I'll have the wherewithal to deal with going back to work Monday... we'll see what Sunday offers. The week before Thanksgiving is never one where people do a lot of quality concentration, so it won't be such a bad time to be absent, but I do miss my students, and I think they'd be good for me to be around, but the hurly-burly of the school day... I may not be ready for that yet. But, I got a couple of days. We'll see what happens.

If there's one thing constant with MS... it's its variability.


Diane J Standiford said...

True, MS does offer that---"you never know!" making music is such a gift to those who make it and we who hear it. I thank you.

Denver Refashionista said...

The kids will be fine either way. Take care of yourself.