Saturday, August 15, 2015

We'll find out

Day always starts the same. B-san calls to be emptied, around 3:30 in the morning. (Urologist says it happens to him too, that's just human normal.) The best part of this entire experience is the transfer from the wheelchair to the commode... somehow, it's really really easy, never any difficulty or "oh sh*t" moments. The process is always easy and effective. An easy transfer back to bed.

Then, stuck awake. I was pondering this AM whether I should just go in to the studio and start doing at-the-computer stuff, like the music I've had a very difficult time simply dealing with the doing thereof. No, I thought, perhaps going back to sleep would be the better idea.

Which didn't happen for an hour, at least.

6-ish, I get up again, this time, to feed the dear but mewling 19-year-old cat. A cup of matcha, to help get the bowels engaged--a popular outcome for morning coffee, but I haven't had any for at least 20 years so that's not an option. But the matcha is gentle and effective enough... but it does put on rather an enthusiastic "buzz," so that's a heck of a way to start the day.

After That Event, taking whatever time it takes, then breakfast--frequently cereal and almond milk. Then, daifuku-mochi, which among other things like a good flavor and mouth feel, is a complete protein: It's quite literally rice and beans. And some gentler tea; sometimes dark oolong, this morning the last of the current bag of Big Red Robe, which I know my wife will enjoy when she greets the day and wants something beyond her right-away-on-wakeup matcha for migraine-proofing.

So here we are now, and at 8:46AM, I can either poke at music stuff--it's not hard composey stuff, just a make sure everything is good to go cleanup pass, I've done a lot of that, over the years. It's reasonably easy and enjoyable.

Or I can go back to bed and maybe go back to sleep. I often tell myself "Yeah, you can poke at the computer later," but I never do. I just go back to sleep. Sort of.

And now... I just sit. Not finish, not move on, I'm just ... sitting.

Well, the Zen folks say, when you sit, just sit.

Which I'm not doing well or properly.

So... bed, then?

I gotta be honest... Yes.

Will  I come back to the studio today?

We'll find out.

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