Just sit

Quite the adventure, yesterday.

Caregiver Wife was taking her mom to the airport for Mom's flight home; I was alone in the house. All was well.

I accomplished House Things. I vacuumed the carpet in the bedroom (which involved quite an adventure merely getting the device into the bedroom; something on wheels trying to push something with wheels is... interesting. Physics 101 given substance.) I laundered some clothes. I made myself quite a yummy BBQ-chicken lunch, with the leftover chicken, Home Ec 101 and such. Did some e-work, like a nicely important e-mail (to someone I care about, not a business thing).

Somewhere around 3:30, I was trying to transfer from the commode back to the wheelchair, and my legs just quit working, and I wasn't quite able to fall all the way back into the wheelchair so I landed my butt just on the edge of the chair, but not enough to let me get a good grip on the arms and reseat myself better. This kinda thing seems to happen between 2:30 and 5:30; I come to a neural/energetic nadir and when that happens, it's really, really for the better to just lie there and wait until it's over.

Well, I couldn't get my feet under my weight, I couldn't flip over and get on my knees and even attempt to pull myself up, I couldn't... anything.

And here's the interesting part... no emotion, no strife, no negativity, no nothing besides "Well, so that's what we got... now what do we do?"

As it turns out, we call the neighbor, who expects this sort of desperation call, and it takes us both a while to figure out how we can do this and he basically has to deadliest me off the floor and into the chair. He stayed nearby until I could transfer back to the bed, but I made it. and stayed there for at least a couple more hours until Wife came home.

But I took no "punch in the emotional gut" effect from it. It was just simple stuff... Let's get to a more comfortable place. Can I do that? ... No ... what about that? ... No... This goes on for several minutes, and then I call the neighbor, because that's all that's left.

He says he'll be right over. Which takes a while. I just sit on the floor. No fussing, no fuming, no worrying, just finding a comfortable position in which to lean against the wall and then enjoying it.

A very Zen moment. One of the first teachings of the Zen method...

When you sit, just sit.