Monday, February 11, 2013

Can't trust my...

I keep learning new things about carrying stuff in my lap while I'm "motoring" myself in the wheelchair.

Mostly about how "You can't do this, this way." And I learn it the hard way.

Also, all too often, the messy way.

Now, the standard "supermarket hand-carry basket" is fantastic. Fits easily between the arms of the wheelchair, does nothing to get in my way while I'm pushing myself along. Things go in the basket easily, they never fall out.

The problem happens when we're at the "take the bags out to the car" point. Bags always... always... fall out of my lap. No matter what I do.

I got, and tried, this cute little "wheelchair helper" thing that fits easily in your lap, has some beanbags affixed to the bottom so there's a little give-and-take against your legs. A strap goes around your waist so the object can't slide out of your lap. Everything sits quite nicely on this flat surface, and thus doesn't slide out of your lap.

At least, that's what it says on paper. Doesn't work. Things still slide out of your (my) lap. Doesn't matter what said things are sitting on, it isn't good enough. Stuff is definitely going to slide off.

Restaurants tend to give you a plastic bag, with things sort-of stacked properly. Except not really. Well, they stacked easily enough when the wait-person filled the bag, but if you set it on anything, it falls over.

The only way I've been able to get things to my car without having them hit the floor is to carry them in my teeth. Which my dentist would, I'm sure, not be sanguine about me doing... ever.

And, to add insult to injury, while I try typing this and occasionally resting the keyboard across my lap, it falls off. Every time.

Y'know... We have so many body-part, body-system, non-compliances, on the Neurological Highway. My legs have failed. I can't reliably open a trashcan by pushing the "open" foot pedal, I can't control my foot enough to put it on, to keep it on, said pedal, or to use my foot to depress the pedal under enough control to open the lid. My elimination system can barely be controlled and definitely can't be trusted. The list could go on, and on, and on... and fortunately, for your sake, dear reader, it's not going to. Not right now, at least.

And now... I can't even trust my lap.

Ya gotta laugh, at these things. Or else, we got nothin'.

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