Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Accomplishing nothing

I'm starting to appreciate the therapeutic value of doing nothing.

I've been an over-achiever for years. A proud over-achiever. Back when I was still a coffee drinker, we'd call it being one of the "caffeine achievers."

Well, that' don't happen any more.

I handle the business of the home--pay the bills, file what came in the mail, that sort of thing. If I'm feeling especially strong, I load (or empty) the dishwasher. Yesterday, I loaded and (eventually) even put away the laundry.

And that's about it.

I have music to write... Yesterday, I ended the day full of resolve to write it.

This morning, I woke up with the sun as pretty much usual, but rather than lying in bed and enjoying the just-plain-lying-down, I actually got up, and took the car into the shop early enough to avoid the morning traffic. Said car shop is very nice; they employ a person to drive customers to and from the shop, while their cars are being serviced. Who's also a very nice person.

Car Guy took me home. Immediately upon arrival, I went to bed. Slept for three hours. So much for the "morning of writing music."

So, this afternoon, I've handled some Business of the House... paid some bills, gonna file said bills. Emptied the dishwasher. Made myself lunch.

Haven't written any music yet.

OK, so I'm going to go make myself another cup of tea, and then, before I have to lie down again, I'm going to write some music. Some. Any. File this under "@#$#damn it, I want to do this. I'm gonna do this."

If that makes me need to lie down and recover... well, that'll be a disappointment indeed.

But at least something will have been accomplished. But even so...

"Accomplishing nothing"--just stepping outside the house and enjoying the air as the entire "today's activity," just plain enjoying being alive--feels good too.

And us M.S.ers... we need to "just plain feel good" sometimes, too... don't we?


Muffie said...

With MS, some days 'just being' is a true accomplishment. Don't forget to share any music you do write! I love listening to it -- you're soooo talented!

Robert Parker said...

The "not getting music written" is actually causing me more discomfort than the M.S. Maybe, maybe, that phase is passing. Maybe. We'll see. I'm having to crank out hymn arrangements for yet another church's centennial, those are less taxing than full-on composing; perhaps that'll "crack the shell" and let the cool stuff emerge. Maybe. We'll see... If anything DOES emerge, I'll share it when it's available.