Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The comedy of B-san

I was so proud of myself today. I emptied the dish drainer (from yesterday's load), then did tonight's dishes. Didn't wait for the house elves to take the dishes off my hands, I did them myself.

This was a victory.

Of course, the entire procedure was interrupted by the insistent but indecisive bladder. "Mr. B." B-san, we anime otaku might call him.

I stand at the sink. No running water, none of the usual excuses/tricks we pull on ourselves to encourage him when he's too reluctant to perform upon request. All I did was stand there. And then, B-san sends a very clear message: "Oh no. Oh dear. NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW..."

Fine. I bolt (as best I can) to the bathroom.

B-san is puzzled by my enthusiasm. He has nothing to offer to the party. He has stopped complaining—perhaps simply being in the bathroom makes him feel content and happy. But he offers nothing to the party.

Eventually, after a protracted refractory period, he decides to do something. Nothing particularly enthusiastic, but he seems happy enough with what he has contributed. He stops. Everybody smiles.

Back to the kitchen, back to the sink. I am now standing at the sink, no running water, none of that. Merely standing. Standing. At the sink.

Well, you know what happens next: B-san panics. "NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW..."

And the rest of the adventure repeats. The dash. The nothing. The wait. A longer wait. Eventually, B-san comes through; and more copiously than the first time. Why he decided to wait and make me go through this whole process twice, I have no idea.

I return to the sink. B-san is appeased. He leaves me to do the dishes.

Now, I don't know as how I'm necessarily grateful to be uninterrupted while doing the dishes, or to have no excuses for not doing the dishes, but...

You take what you can get in this business, right?

And, I also gotta admit, it was a little... just a little ... funny.

To which I must reply: B-san, let me write the jokes. Please?

B-san says nothing. But he will... you know he will. Because, really, what comic likes to be told to stop writing jokes?


Peace Be With You said...

I'm laughing, not only because I know this comedy routine only too well, but also because at 1 am I have gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom so many times already that sleep is out of the question. Wait a minute. That's not so funny. I want to sleep, need to sleep. Oh well it was funny when you wrote it.

Muffie said...

That's good that you can humor in these annoying MS situations! Poor Mr. B San!