Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Maybe

Finally got through to Hand Control Guy today. Maybe... maybe... he'll be able to do the install this Saturday. Maybe. He's trying to clear his schedule, he'll call me back when he knows.

So, maybe Saturday, if schedules can be made to work, I'll be that much closer to the end of non-automotive-based house arrest.

Maybe.

I had a powerful treatment at my acupuncturist's today. An attempt to rekindle the Fire that has been out for ... oh, most of this year, I think. Maybe even since The Diagnosis. The Fire that's the source of passion, of enjoyment, of creativity, of the simple love of living. The Fire that has been, for me, for the most part, simply missing.

"Great Deficiency" is the name of one of the points I got today. Yeah, having no love of living is very much a great deficiency. A pretty frakking great deficiency.

Judy's beautiful MS haiku blog had an especially lovely stanza today:

I have discovered
somewhere in my deepest self
an unforseen strength.

Strength has not been my problem. The Fire that lights the Heart... that, I need to discover. To re-discover, because that used to be the least of my problems.

Funny... the MS is simply my greatest annoyance. But it's not a problem. Not finding joy in life... that's a problem. Not even having the passion to care about not having any passion... now, that's a problem.

1 comment:

Peace Be With You said...

Thank you, Robert, for honoring my poetry. I am reading of your adventures with hand controls with great interest.
Judy