My, it has been a while since we e-chatted.
Hm, what's happened?
Had my always-amazing wife take me to the eye doctor, who has upgraded herself to a major new and glitzy office, lotsa screens and not that very same projected slide thing I've been tested with since my first glasses in fourth grade. 1968-ish. Anyway, the upshot is that the eyes pointing in different directions is quite true, doc said that she could fix it with surgery but when, not if, it happened again, it'd be time for the same surgery again which might not work again, so let's not go that route. Which was quite fine with me, I must say. Enthusiastically. She suggested I do what I've already been doing... use a napkin or scrap of cloth and cover one eye, which I'm doing at the moment. Which makes my "seeing" much better, if I use the correct eye to do what I want to do. I bounce the cover from one eye to the other, to keep exercising one eye at a time. I need an eye patch, I guess, like one of the Night Raid characters from the anime Akame Ga Kill.
Sitting here to do this is somehow a lot to ask. Sometimes too much to ask. Or is it? Or isn't it? Hard to know, hard to tell. I would, if I could, spend time getting myself simply comfortable enough to live within my skin, withering as my experience is. Always, always withering... Oh well. That's humanity, life, and age, all pretty much the same thing...
If I can, I'll drop a note or two to a person or two. Since I've been having flashes of living at Yale and in New Haven post under-grad and in the master's program, I suppose I should e-chat with my Yale friends. At least say hello. Someone somewhere on the east coast, I've been nudging with handbell music. Composing has been off the table for a while... I dunno if doing that is a "thing" I still do, that may just be part of my life that's over. For now, at least. In the meantime, enjoy the outside air, things are definitely changing as we approach the season of Wood, which it definitely is, even with the Pasadenan drought interrupted by the occasional raging rain, which my phone suggests will torrent down this evening. Which the plants definitely like, plants like rain much better than irrigation. Which should come down this very evening... we'll see.
But no matter what my emotional or energetic state may be... my emotions are not so bad, usually, energy is pretty much missing, but the smell and feel of the air is wonderful, and neither of those have anything to do with my withering state. So, that remains my prescription... Enjoy what you can enjoy. Doesn't matter what it might be. Even if it's something like the Star Trek movie #1, which as a film is pretty crappy but visually it does have it's advantages. Which I still enjoy. Plus, the soundtrack is pretty cool too.
So since there's so little, as in "nothing," to do about the "having MS thing," it doesn't mean you can't enjoy what there is to enjoy. So, as best you can...