Had quite a chat (as always) with my primary medical caregiver.
Among other things, not even thinking about "M.S. has done X to me."
Since it doesn't really exist, it can't do anything. And, also of course, there's no one/nothing to rail at, or blame. Although saying "M.S. really kicked my ass this week" does simplify the conversation. (Something I discovered long ago is that people in general don't want details about what's physically going on, they just want an answer.)
But no, I don't go down the Blame Tunnel or anything like that. If I'm tired, I'm tired. If I'm in pain, I'm in pain. That's pretty much it.
If I wanted to go down the "pity path," oh there are many onramps. But I have enough trouble simply using this keyboard, simply controlling my right hand enough to take the cat food out of the refrigerator without having it spill all over everything (a fate which has befallen too much "human food," much less cat food) is enough to deal with.
Bearing a grudge against, blaming, ascribing anything to something that doesn't exist... that, I don't have the energy for.
Who does? Who really needs to...?