Just like...

Did something huge yesterday.

Went to an MD to get This Thing looked at. MD told me that things are doing great, I'm doing things great, maybe this antibiotic will be a good idea (I've taken it many times before, it's tolerated quite well), and he answered some questions.

That wasn't Big. What was Big was leaving campus. Getting into the car and going somewhere. Which I haven't been doing a lot of, over the past few months.

I'm looking at leaving campus again in a couple of days. See some friends, whom I miss and I'm very sure have also missed me. And The Event is only a couple of hours long, so my off-campus commitment, time-wise, is gentle. There'll be plenty of processing to do, of course, but that's actually good. It needs doing.

And with luck, all of this will actually happen. And if all goes well, it'll be fun, even.

We on the MS Highway, we take what we can get. Who knows what it'll bring?

And there we go again. It's just like...

Life.

Perceive and ...

A new yet wonderful discovery, here on the MS Highway.

I'm puddling about in the kitchen this morning, making whipped matcha to get my morning started, and as I pull out the drawer holding teaspoons and such, which I need to stir up my ever-so-yummy medicinal herbs which are also part of the daily ritual (ah, the "tasty" world of Chinese medicine), and as I pull out the drawer, I feel like I'm seeing it for the first time.

I've been opening drawers in this house for at least 20 years. I've opened them several times a day for every day of those 20 years.

And yet today, that experience feels new. And wonderful, in its beautiful simplicity.

A side-effect of spending a lot of time in a wheelchair, practicing noticing things "for the first time." REALLY noticing things. Like sitting n the veranda and smelling the changes in the air. Like seeing how the color of the light the sunlight shining on the trees changes with the time of day. Like watching the birds visiting and kvetching with each other. Different every day, every hour. I get a lot of practice just noticing things. And what I notice is always ... quite amazing. Quite wonderful!

So wheelchair or not, confinement to a whatever-it-might-be or not, this is something I can suggest to each of you--also MS or not.

Just notice. Just pay attention.

You may very well find... something wonderful.

Today is different from any other day. People call it "the same as always," but it's  not. It's different.

So then, find something just to perceive. And perceive it. No matter what it is. REALLY perceive it.

And...

Enjoy.

Who knew?

Nothing tumultuous to report. Only quiet changes of mind. Self-discovery, even. And shared joys.

My wife and ever-generous caregiver had to take herself to our beloved acupuncturist/MD, so another friend sat with me on "Robert watch." He made us both sandwiches, he made himself coffee (I haven't had it for something like 20 years, but I still enjoy the smell of beverage prepared exquisitely, which my friend always does).

Shared with my friend one of the sweetest Steven Universe episodes... one that always makes me cry with happiness. It is heart-warming and in its warming, it becomes heart-rendingly sweet.

YouTube has a bunch of clips, but if you have the right kind of Cartoon Network access, you can see the entire episode, which I strongly recommend.

Had a few moments since my last e-chat with you, dear readers, that fall into the category of what Ram Dass calls "There I go again." The friend who sat with me the other day and I had similar "employment-exit" experiences, and for both of us they were also life-changing in a good way, particularly in the "getting the toxic out of our lives" way. I remember my mother's stay in the hospital a few years ago; she had spent the day on the operating table, she had just been delivered from the recovery room back to her bedroom, and yet after having gone through surgery for hours, she looked better to have the nasty definitely toxic and no longer needed "whatevers" removed. A day of surgery, and she looked better.

The "toxic" in me (that I presume afflicts my friend too, since we sounded very similar when we were talking about this) is that I have not been able to come to peace with "Forgive them for they know not what they do." Staying mad doesn't help me get better, certainly; feeling justified in being angry still leaves me poisoned by anger.

So what does my MS Experience have to say about this, for me? Well, first and foremost, my nervous system has enough trouble doing things like "move that foot four inches to the right," I really don't need to use what little nervous system I have on being pissed off. At something that doesn't exist; the Whatever from which I took pretty severe effect was quite literally years ago; it happened, and then the happening of it went away forever. So, I'm taking effect by holding a grudge against something that doesn't exist.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

A phrase I heard a lot when I was the organist for a Science of Mind church, was "I bless you and release you to your good." But that requires two steps: Bless, and release. Neither of which I'm doing with the Whatevers at which I persist in being angry. Especially also because I don't know the reasons behind the reasons, which are the True As True Gets reasons behind the Whatevers that transpired. None of which I'll ever know... and the knowing of which definitely don't belong in the category of Things to Make Me Feel Better. Even knowing said Truths would still leave me in the position of needing to do some serious forgiveness. Which, for some reason, I still have some problems with. Ah, attachment...

So, apparently, that's my homework.

MS as a gateway to forgiveness.

Who knew?