Midnight musings

So I'm awake at like 3:00ZM, puffing away at my favorite vape to get spasticity and pain under better control, and I start thinking, I think I may see a way to explain this whole MS thing without going down the scary statistical road.

So here I am in my "charming mid-century home," as the realtors would say. But so much of this place sees to itself. Heater turns itself on and off, water heater turns itself on and off, garden gets watered automatically. This is the way your body works. Big directions get sent by the brain, but a lot of the connections are seen to by themselves.

And here we are on the MS Highway. The basic challenge with MS is bad wiring--systems that used to see to themselves don't, any more. The connections are bad. So sex stuff, elimination stuff, walking (or not), all sorts of things that used to be "normal" have now become the new normal of "things don't work any more."

The "can't" expresses itself in many ways... for me, it's hard too just sit up to type things like this.

What gifts then has MS given me?

Simply observing how amazing the world is. The rain falls or doesn't, the air changes significantly. Being outside in the cold is no good, but warm is wonderful. Simply sitting outside in the sun when it's comfy and warm is amazing! Which I never experienced until so much "normal" was closed off to me.

So, as they said on Rick and Morty, "No wrong answers!" Just live, and see how amazing simply being alive  can be.

So... just live. And that's hard enough... but fuN!