Sunday, December 23, 2012


I was going to start this by saying "Wow..." but that word's about as far away from my current experience as any could be. At best, my experience rates a George Takei-esque "Oh my...."

I've been pretty much bedridden for several days. Yesterday, I was able to operate a computer for about ten minutes to roll a piece of music for somebody (a piece I had already arranged and completed, conductor just needed a couple of minor corrections, which were fortunately at the " done!" level of difficulty). And then I went back to bed.

I'm still in bed, today. I picked up this laptop at about 1:15, and as soon as I finish this post, it's getting shut off. Maybe... maybe... I'll make it into the living room and groove on the smell of the Christmas tree. Or maybe sit somewhere else. Or maybe I'll just lie back down.

Decisions, decisions.

None of my Medical Team has any idea where this inescapable fatigue is coming from. It's not just, or so we all think, "normal" M.S. fatigue, because there's so much sleeping involved. One guy thinks maybe I need to eat more frequently, maybe? Because I really am not eating that much, even by my current fading "standards." Nice idea, I guess, but I'm also currently living in a world of "maybe I'm going to be nauseated" and stomach does not particularly want to be used for anything more than water, right now.

Decisions, decisions.

So, here we are... day after the Mayan apocalypse was to occur, or so it was said.... but the Syfy channel is running Star Trek V, not once but again, which I guess is a sign of the End of Days in its own way... but if the world really is going to come to an end, the way I feel right now, I'm going to sleep through it. Probably. Maybe. Or not... who knows?

Decisions, decisions...? Like I actually have the energy to do even the deciding, much less do anything about my decisions.

Well, the laptop's running out of power, and so am I. Decision to continue is going to be made for me, in spite of what I "want" to do or not... which is pretty much the way "deciding" is going, right now.

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