Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Bring on the thing

Eight needles, instead of the usual four, to reconnect me with ... me. But things are better now. Much better now.

Music is rattling through my head, wanting to be written. What I despaired of so much yesterday was as I (mentally) suspected: right idea, wrong implementation. It's going to take a bit of effort to rewrite what's there, but at least the idea's there, and that's actually the hard part.

At least, that's always been the hard part; it's certainly the hard part to getting the whole thing started. Nowadays, though, the "hard part" includes having enough energy to sit behind the computer and peck at the score.

I'm not feeling exactly full of vim and vigor tonight, but maybe I'll do a little of the pedestrian pecking, that doesn't require so much flame-of-creativity energy. I know what needs to be adjusted, it'll just take a little bit of time to adjust it.

This "vague fatigue" thing is the worst part of the MS experience. I used to do an amazing amount of amazingly varied things, all of them with a fervent dedication to quality. Nowadays, I just come home, and lie down.

If I could choose only one thing to eradicate from my MS experience... it would be that soul sucking, creativity sucking, manifestation sucking, joy sucking, fatigue. I'd love to get my joie de vivre back. My enthusiasm. Any enthusiasm, for that matter.

"Thoughts become things," the Science of Mind church teaches. Well, there's my thought. A return to enthusiasm, to manifestation, to joy.

Bring on the thing.

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