Tuesday, May 26, 2009


A real roller-coaster ride, these last few days. Yesterday was glorious: I didn't have the gumption to go to a party that I had really wanted to go to, but I did get a nice chunk of music written. Very pleased with that.

Had a wave of "determination," regarding a project that desperately wants both to be shelved and acted upon; a moment of "Yes, I have to do this, it's worth doing, it's worth me doing."

Today... nothing. I had a really wonderful talk with one of the students after school (the high point of the day) but shopping for dinner was difficult, and shortly after dinner I sacked out in my chair, and I've spent the rest of the evening doing nothing and not feeling particularly bad about doing nothing.

I think it's the "there are good days and there are bad days" that I really haven't come to peace with, or found the right way to approach either the functioning during said bad days, or to the acceptance that I need to honor those bad days at least in some way.

Acupuncturist tomorrow; he always has interesting things to say. And we'll see what the state of my internal fire is, both before and after the treatment.

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