Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The anchor

Another good acupuncturing today. Another visit with the point "The Intermediary." I don't like getting it because it lies all-too-"conveniently" close to a nerve, and getting a needle stuck into a nerve isn't anyone's idea of fun, but I like getting it because of what it does for me.

It's very interesting to get the "zap" of the point, and a flash that says "That isn't what I wanted, but OH is it ever what I needed."

Good news on the purely physical side: the leg numbness is slowly starting to abate, I'm starting to get better touch sensation all along the legs and the soles of the feet. 'Course, the numbness is getting worse in the torso (imagine an elastic band, about a foot wide, wrapped around your torso just below the rib cage, pressing ever so slightly like a girdle, and numb) but changing is better than not changing, and numbness moving, as my neurologist/acupuncturist agrees, is better than numbness not moving.

We also talked about stimulants; the other day, I found that I was having a very bad attack of I Don't Want To Leave My Chair, and a strong cup of black tea (although it chewed at my stomach a bit, I'm a green-tea drinker) raised the anchor and I was able to get up and do things and enjoy doing the things, and I didn't mind so much not being in the nice comfy chair, I enjoyed getting things done for a change.

Now, given when I went to high school and college, you'll understand, gentle reader, that I'm a bit of a psychopharmaceutical connoisseur, and caffeine is not my stimulant of choice by any stretch of the imagination. It's rough, it's jangly, and when you're living a life without insulation, doing something that makes you twitch more is just plain wrong. But I felt, and my MD agreed, that stimulants are not the right road. They're not really a solution, and they're certainly not "the" solution (although judicious application of the correct dosage of the correct quality of beverage, at the correct time--even of high-grade OTC powdered green tea--would be OK, in moderation).

His most interesting comment was, "You talk about being 'anchored' to your chair. You don't want to 'lift' the anchor. You want to 'let go of' the anchor--just leave it there." I got an immediate internal flash of "Yes, that's the right answer." But I don't know where the knot is on the rope... I'm not sure how to untie the anchor. Or how to cut the rope.

But week by week, we're getting flashes of The Right Answer, whatever that may be.

Another Insight Flash, perhaps thanks to this week's needling: I need to get away from the electronica (computer, TV, iPhone, whatever) and do something physical: work with something plastic, somewhere there is fresh and moving air. Much of the way I actualize my creativity is through the computer, but I still enjoy brainstorming, and writing (at least in the early stages) on paper.

To borrow a five-element metaphor, I need to throw some Wood on the Fire. And Wood, being organic, does not come out of a screen.

And maybe get back to reading things on paper, rather than on a screen, cute though the screens may be. Now there's a thought...

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