Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Blockety, block block/blockety, block block

Now, I've been seeing my acupuncturist since something like 1992, and I've gotten my share of these "block" things from time to time (I wrote about them earlier), and before The Disease they were occasional. Only a few times a year.

I spent most of last year on the "block a week" plan. I just finally had, I dunno, three months without them? And now I think I'm back to worse than "block a week": now, I think I'm on the block du jour plan.

Ho, let's see, how to describe this: Well, you can't see very far out of your own head (sometimes you can't even see past the edge of your corneas), you don't have stamina, or resilience, or... anything, really. It's not depression, it's energy-less-ness.

It's a self-sustaining state of perpetual depletion.

Each block takes four needles to cure. Two entry points, two exit points. And then, block's gone. Life is worth living again. Life is fun to live again. Normality reigns.

But for me... then the block comes back. Sometimes, a shock causes the block (someone shouts angrily at you, you're startled, all sorts of things can set it off) but for me the pisser has been that they just happen. I just got unblocked yesterday, nothing really shocking, stressful, or unpleasant has happened, and I know that I'm already blocked again.

This is another reason I agree with my Oriental-medicine caregivers that the real problem is upstream of the MS. Yeah, the MS is annoying and causes neurological malfunctions, but that's not the real problem.

Of course, I don't know what the "real problem" is, yet. Nor does anyone else. All they're able to do is treat me the way they meet me; yes, they do have long term plans for the direction they want to go ("little by little" is my herbalist's favorite phrase), but every treatment is different because they meet me, and treat me, at my point of need. Today.

And isn't that where we're all supposed to meet each other?

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