The weather this morning couldn't have been more perfectly metaphorical: last night, clouds and rain; this morning, sun and birdsong.
Many glorious things were accomplished today. Cleared many things off the compositional "to do" list. To wit:
- The choral director wanted some adjustments to the choir/orchestra piece I wrote for the high-school's musicians, and the solution I found made me happy and (I hope) will please him as well. I won't call it a "compromise" because it was just plain too good--it created extra musical strength and (I hope) will give him what he requested.
- Adapted a handbell part (within a brass and handbell introit for Easter), which in its original form, requires far more players than we have. Now it fits our humble, yet enthusiastic and dedicated, group.
- Finished two out of the three hymn arrangements for Easter Sunday. I probably could have gotten through all three, but one of them is a little idiosyncratic, every church performs it a little differently, and I need to arrange the arrangement (as it were) to fit our congregation.
- Laid out and printed the organ part for my composition that's premiering next Sunday. I tried to make it playable by my failing feet--fortunately, it's a significantly better instrument than the one I had to work with Ash Wednesday, so there's more hope. Even though the organ is vastly superior, the action on the pedal board is a little low, the dimensions are a little odd, and both of those cause me -- too often-- to struggle with the instrument. Tomorrow, after church, I'll give it a go and see how I do with the (mostly) better instrument.
Those were the rapids... but there were also the rocks... ah, the rocks.
I've been feeling a vague panic nipping at me for a while now, it has been catalyzed by a fear that "I'm behind schedule," and that's one of the reasons I cranked at music so hard today; I hoped that I could get on or ahead of schedule, and maybe calm whatever it is that's subconsciously nattering at me.
And then, on a trip to the store to grab some supplies for the cooking adventure, I found that I wasn't feeling panic, but terror. Real, pit-of-the-stomach, terror. And I mean, come on, this is Trader Joe's that I'm in, there's nothing even vaguely terrifying about it. The store does not frighten me. And yet... I feel terror. Thank heavens, it went away once I went home.
But what's up with that? It's definitely part of the MS package, I never felt anything like that before The Diagnosis; it doesn't seem to correlate with any of my symptoms. But, even so... terror? In the midst of such an otherwise superlative day? Come and gone, both in a flash?
Hmm.... huh. Well...
The fun never stops, does it?